29 September 2006

Would You Believe It?

While Barbara is away, I have been watching the idiot box a lot. Well, we do that when she is here too. Anyway, two things hit me last night while watching "Prison Break" and one other serial.

First, since when do they have pay phones in prison yards? Did some legal eagle convince them that for inmates not to ba able to phone home is "cruel and unusual"? I wouldn't be surprised. My old dad always had two things to say about people in jails; one, they are not smart or they wouldn't be crooks, and two, jail is not supposed to be fun. I was further convinced of this when Chief Mainord, our town's police chief and neighbor, let me tour the local jail while I waited for the bus on Sunday mornings after Sunday School. Those Saturday night drunks never looked like they were happy. The place didn't smell good, and they all wanted to make phone calls. In that jail, there was no exercise yard. The only exercise that one got was walking in and out.

The other thing that hit me was that, in today's world, a man with hair on his chest is at a disadvantage. When I was a young sprout, I did everything but kiss my elbow, so that I would have hair on my chest, just like dad. Now, he wasn't an ape, but he did have a moderate growth there. The things that I did to insure trichosis on my chest would fill a small book. It was a sign of manhood, and I needed to be a man. The crusts on bread and eating all my carrots come quickly to mind. Later, I learned about genetics, so I still shed a few when I towel off. I am told that men today who want to be attractive get a wax job. I think that would feel a lot like old time adhesive tape being pulled off quickly.

No thanks!

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