Big Boys and Cry Babies

The title would suggest that there are two types here. At this point, I can tell you that they can be one and the same. I know because I am both.

My dad was of the generation that believed "big boys" do not cry. I grew up in his image. Now, he was a long way from being a hard hearted John Wayne type, but men did not cry in his world. His mother outlived him, but I do recall seeing him red eyed (no tears) when his father died. So, that was the way I grew up. My mom would cry at the drop of a hat but not him. When I cried, as a child, and he saw me, he would just tell me to shut off the waterworks and be a "big boy". He had far better judgement than to say that to my mother. My dad loved me. I am sure that he thought that he was making me a man, and he did. When he died, I sat by my mom and never let a tear grace my eye. I did have this strange tightening in my throat though. He would have been proud.

Almost sixty years later, I find that things have changed. How and just when, I do not know. I do know that somewhere along the way, change occurred. These days, I can tear up at a sad event without a problem. Just why, I have no clue. Maybe enough sad things have happened, so I cannot help it. Most of my life has been exceptionally happy, but we all have sad things in our lives. I have certainly seen plenty of sadness in other people's lives. Maybe we all have a limit to what we can experience and witness before we lose our "big boy" mentality.

Maybe with birthdays we lose some of our inhibitions. I do know that age can decrease the frontal parts of the brain that control emotions. I have seen a lot of stroke victims who have emotional lability as part of their deficit. Some people cry at inappropriate times with other conditions. Maybe it is a combination of upbringing, emotional experience, and mental function. All I know is that it is as it is. I don't worry a bit about it.