Ruminations

I started this blog hobby years ago for just what the title says. As I continue to approach the age of dirt, rumination seems to be more and more of my cogent day. No complaints about that except one; I wish that I had done more of this activity as a younger man. Youth equates to wisdom? Perish the thought! I will not twist your arm to believe that.

Anyway, rumination can be productive at any stage in life, and I hope we all will do this until the shades come downward.

Today, among my ruminations, there has been one on the anniversary the death of a friend.The older I become, the more death means to me. I suspect that is true of all us older folks. I do not consider myself as unique in any particular way. I guess it is well beyond the time for me to come out as being an agnostic. That is a big jump for a guy who once thought of being an Episcopal priest. Circumstances change, and I was about forty when it became evident to me that I just did not know enough to embrace religion of any sort. 

Now, I have no interest in proselytizing anyone on this, or being the subject of such activity. My parents and grandparents belonged, at least in thought, to various conventional religious groups. I was always told that with such a personal thing, it was hoped that I would make my own decisions about religion. So almost forty years ago, I did that.

Am I an Atheist? What is Atheism? I look at them as non-believers in any higher power or theism. I believe that I do not know about such things. Agnostic, broken into its derivations means not knowing. I fit in that group, whereas to me, an atheist believes he knows that there is no any higher force. It is impossible for me to convince myself that nothing such exists. One only has to consider the events through evolution and the genesis of a universe, not to wonder about "something".

Many years ago, my father and I discussed his father's death. I was about five years old.. My dad gave me a view on death that really stuck with me. He said we all live in a building called a body, a spirit lives in there also. That is the "us" in us. When we die, the spirit leaves the building, but remains with us. That spirit is eternal as long as we remain alive and is all pervasive. A single thought brings it into your consciousness and is with you. Now what happens when the living die? Who knows? That is where the agnosticism comes in, I guess. I do not know. Some of us believe we know, but I don't think that belief is more than a supposition. Again, I don't know. I also don't know where that spirit was before I was born into consciousness.

In defense of my dad, I must say that he was always supportive of my thoughts about religion. He did his office paper work on Sunday mornings. In fact, it was on a Sunday morning, when I met him there to ride home with him from my church visit that the subject of granddad Roy came up. My father did indeed want me to make a decision about my beliefs at the right time. He was dead before that happened.


I suspect that my dead friend who occasioned this blog, thought along these lines also. I do find comfort in feeling the spirits of such people as parents, friends, others that I have loved in such a way.

I hope we can agree that I am beyond stubborn to such a degree that I hope you all can see my logic, and you are not to be challenged by some agnostic like me. In return, I will ask that you not try to change my thoughts.